Our Story
After the sudden loss of their son Charlie, Ed and Mary Ternan created Song for Charlie with one goal: to bring awareness to counterfeit prescription pills being sold online targeting young people. With your help, we can spread the word and save lives.
OUR MISSION
Growing up in our fast-paced world is stressful. Song for Charlie is a national family-led, nonprofit charity that encourages young people to choose healthy coping strategies over self-medication. We empower students to learn and share knowledge by providing research tools and promoting peer-to-peer learning programs.
OUR VISION
We envision a future in which the casual use of prescription pills is considered socially unacceptable, and in which sharing random pills is uncool. We endeavor to change the ‘quick fix’ mindset of self-medication in favor of more organic and sustainable strategies for managing stress and anxiety. To accomplish these goals, we must break through the noise and communicate with young people on their terms – go where they are; speak their language; and get them talking.
Charlie Ternan was a regular guy, just like a lot of the guys you know. He was a good friend, and he had a bunch of them. He was in love. He liked to party with his fraternity brothers. He was a movie buff and had great taste in music. He was smart and a really good student (mostly, when he applied himself). He brought people together. Everyone loved his laugh – loud and contagious.
Like you and your friends, Charlie also had his challenges. He was unsure of his future after college. He was trying to find his place in the world. He wasn’t really sure what he wanted to do for a career. He experienced the normal angst of a young adult in this fast-paced world.
Charlie was familiar with Xanax and sometimes took one when he had time to chill and play video games. He also knew about Percocet, which he had been prescribed after his 2018 back surgery. Self-medicating with prescription pills is socially acceptable these days. After all, they are safe medicines, right?
Charlie was found by his friends, unresponsive in his room, around 8:45pm on a Thursday. They tried their best to revive him, but it was too late. He was 22 years old and three weeks away from his college graduation. Initial reports from first responders suggested that Charlie had died hours before, sometime in the late afternoon. They said the likely cause of death was an accidental overdose of prescription pills.
None of this made sense to Charlie’s family and friends. Charlie didn’t have a substance abuse issue. Besides, how many pills would our 6’2”, 235-pound Charlie have to take to fatally overdose?
As it turns out, it only takes one – if that pill is made of fentanyl. We learned that Charlie had purchased a Percocet online because his back was hurting. But it wasn’t real. It was a “fentapill.” We think Charlie took the pill around 3pm and died within 30 minutes. He never had a chance.
A Note to Bereaved Family Members
If you have found this page, first let us say we are so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one to fentanyl poisoning can be an especially traumatic experience that leaves a trail of devastation for the family and community impacted. We are sorry you have to experience that pain.
Song for Charlie was created by families who know the pain of losing children to fentanyl poisoning, and we would like to help you if we can. The days, weeks, or even months after the loss of a loved one can be a blur. It will take time before you start to come out of that haze. While we cannot eliminate the pain of losing a child or loved one, we would like to share a few things that have helped us as we grieved the loss of our children.
Take care of yourself. Make sure you are eating, staying hydrated, and sleeping as best you can. Get outside if you can, exercise if you can. Be gentle with yourself. Do your best, and accept that you may not be able to do your regular day to day activities for a while.
Allow others to help as much as possible. If offered, let others deliver food, walk the dog, run errands for you. And don’t be afraid to ask for help- ask a neighbor to pick up groceries for you or mow your lawn. Ask a friend to help to do the laundry or clean the dishes. Your family and friends are feeling your pain, too, and want to be able to help.
Develop a relationship with your law enforcement contact. Some agencies are experienced at fentanyl death cases, some are not. Don’t be afraid to ask your detective questions, share any information you have learned, and ask for regular updates. You deserve to know what happened to your loved one. Depending on where you live, sometimes law enforcement needs to be pushed into action a bit– don’t be afraid to do this if you need to. You are not ‘bugging’ them.
Report dealer to social media companies if appropriate. This may be surprising and maddening to learn, but if no one has flagged your loved one’s dealer they may still be lurking on social media. If you have evidence your loved one got their drug on social media, take steps to report the dealer’s handle to the appropriate social media company; don’t assume someone else will do this. Ask your detective if they have reported the dealer’s user name to the social media company, and whether or not it would hurt the investigation if the account was shut down. If they have not shut down the account and it won’t hurt the investigation, have someone help you to report the dealer’s user name to the social media company or do it yourself. You could save lives by taking this simple step. Click here to learn how to report a dealer on social media.
Seek counseling and/or a grief group. The grief from losing a loved one can be overwhelming and hard to process, and it can stop you in your tracks. We have found it beneficial to get professional help. Find a good counselor/therapist for yourself and family members if possible. Since people process grief differently, we also recommend engaging with a couples counselor if you have a significant other. Help any surviving kids to find a counselor as well if they are willing. Your insurance company and https://www.psychologytoday.com/us are both good places to start when looking for grief counseling.
Don’t feel pressured to share more information than you are willing to share. This is your family’s story— share just as much as you are comfortable with. You can choose to publicly share everything, just bits and pieces, or nothing at all, and both ends of the spectrum are okay. Over time you may choose to share more, or not. We have found that sharing our stories has helped immensely, and we have been broadly supported by our communities, but each family is different and the sharing has to be on your own terms.
Educate yourself on what is going on with fentanyl in the illicit drug supply today. People who die from illicit fentanyl have been poisoned and did not deserve to die. Song for Charlie tries to be an honest, reliable source of information, and we encourage you to spend time on our website to learn what is going on. If you are ready, sign up for our newsletter to receive monthly updates on what we are working on.
Consider finding virtual groups. Some people find it helpful to virtually connect with others who have lost a loved one to fentanyl poisoning. There are many fentanyl-related Facebook groups with different areas of focus… raising awareness, influencing legislation, processing grief, harm reduction, and more. If this interests you, we recommend you do your research and find the groups that are a good fit for you.
You have a long road ahead of you. Be kind to yourself.
We want you to know that you are not alone. If you need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We are not counselors or medical experts; we are parents who have experienced the loss of a child from fentanyl poisoning who are willing to share the knowledge we’ve gained since then to help others.
Holding you in our hearts,
Ed & Mary Ternan, parents of Charlie
Jen & Jon Epstein, parents of Cal
Laura Didier, mom of Zach